It was another of those routine days and I was walking back towards the apartment I rented together with my friends. The main road was at its off-peak hour with cars going by consistently but traffic was not heavy.
Then I realised, as I walked uphill towards the entrance of the apartments, there were four presumably Indonesian men following me. Yes, I was alone. Alone because me being me, I love the occasional solitude. The occasional desire to be doing things 100% my way. However, this bliss was not what it usually was, this solitary stroll back home had, from the moment I took notice of the four men, a tinge of fear to it.
The female instinct, they say, is a darn accurate one. I was sure my female instincts were doing justice to its reputation. Not sooner than five steps more, I heard "Ah Moi, Ah Moi". I ignored the calls as I would usually but deep down I was feeling the initial pangs of panic. Then the men got excited. Saying that I couldn't run off now. That I was alone and outside. True, it was like some movie plot where the bad guy foresaw the potential for him to strike. the road I was on was quite empty, only a few cars were at the junction I've finally reached.
Seeing my route to possible safety, I started across the road to the other lane where cars were facing the opposite direction without even bothering to see if there were cars from behind. ( I don't know why I was not following the law to walk against the direction of the traffic but I just did)
Somehow I knew that four-wheeler had unlocked doors so I hopped in, hurriedly explaining to the family man that I am in trouble.
The four men had to catch up and while the uncle was trying to call the police (I assume), one of the men opened the car door and snatched his phone. Somehow the uncle forgot to lock the doors. (and I was screaming when they snatched his phone!)
Scene change. You know how dreams are.
Anyways, I woke up with this nasty thought: What if I died before everybody knew how much I love them?
Maybe Big Fish does this to its audience. I watched it last night and end up having all these deep thoughts that haven't been swimming in my mind for a long time. Of death, of life, of fear.
Fear...that brings me to Mel Gibson's controversial movie Apocalypto. There was a part where the dad was telling his son to not bring fear back to the village. That fear is more poisonous than the catastrophe itself. Something about it paralysing one's living. I related it to that bad dream, telling myself that I must be courageous to live life.
What is life if we become the slaves to our fears and uncertainties. All the more reason for us to cherish every moment with everyone we're blessed to have known. Tomorrow is always a mystery, no matter how well planned out today.
Ya, those were my first thoughts in the morning.
I pray I do not have this deja vu.
To dad and mum, I love you.
To bro, irreplaceable one.
To KayT, SugaLin, JM, Kara, my colourful K3E members: Amelia, Shel, Jo, Unoe, Lynda, Sushi, Lulu; HJ, Steph, WC, TB11, I'm blessed abundant to have our paths joined in this life. Even if it was only for that while.
To the world, I wish I can meet you and share life's best little things with you.
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